Special Message From the Mgmt.

The Mgmt wishes to inform you that The Writer is “away on assignment” this week, and will therefore be unable to serve you, loyal blog visitor, this week.

Enquiring minds (even inquiring ones) express wonderment: away on assignment? What can that mean? It’s simple: the Mgmt, as per the terms of its contract with The Writer, has the right to hire The Writer’s services out to interested bidders with a willingness to pay. In our benevolence, we are always willing to share.

This week, The Writer is asked to unlimber his mighty pen to make the world a better place for actuaries specializing in claims predictions for the pest control industry. The pest control industry pays handsomely, well more than this blog could ever earn for its long-suffering investors and Mgmt team.

This research-heavy project requires The Writer to inhale, absorb, and otherwise ingest the bio-agents and neurotoxins prevalent in modern pest control practices, the better to understand the motor- and neurological-malfunctions that can occur under certain circumstances¹Conditions so statistically rare as to be barely worth the mention, and in no way does this constitute any admission or assumption of responsibility or culpability, moral or otherwise, &c.. The Mgmt and the Pest Control Industry’s representative decided that this was necessary to enhance the veritas and gravitas of the assigned writings; the hazardous nature of the work also means that the Mgmt can upcharge for this engagement, further enhancing the investor/Mgmt team revenue stream. It is, as the wags like to say, a classic win-win scenario.

Alas and as always, though, The Writer is turning a simple sub-letting of human capital into some sort of issue of quote-fairness-unquote. Further complicating the situation, accusations of disregard for the mental and physical well-being of The Writer, along with charges of street-level pimpery²Such an ugly word, along with indentured servitude and slave-wage. The Writer’s sharp tongue will, in the end, bring him grief, just as his mother warned lo so many years ago. have brought progress to a near-standstill. The Writer, despite the clear contractual agreement under which he toils – and all the while luxuriating in his Mgmt-provided abode and sustaining himself on Mgmt-provided victuals and comforts – nevertheless considers himself worthy of surplus-remuneration for this assignment. In case the loyal reader has not surmised by now, it always seems to be about The Writer. The Mgmt, however, regards such selfishness as unseemly and will not tolerate such a breach of the socio-economic stratification that benefits us all.

The Mgmt views this uprising as born of naked greed coupled with an unhealthy contempt for established property rights and contract and labor law. As such, we have implemented a lockout and begun a talent search for a new scab replacement writer eager to find her Big Break. No pay, people, but really…just think of the exposure!

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