The Immunity Manifesto
“If you are immune to boredom, there is literally nothing you cannot accomplish.”<fn>David Foster Wallace, The Pale King</fn>
“Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.”<fn>Auntie Mame</fn>
“If you’re bored, you’re not paying attention.”<fn>I said that.</fn>
Immune to Boredom. I’d love to say that describes me, but it’s more aspiration than reality. If you’re like me, you have gone to great<fn>Preposterous, even.</fn> lengths to avoid boredom. Failing avoidance, numbing is a preferred Plan B. I think I’ve been doing it wrong.
Time for Plan C. This blog is an attempt to turn boredom to my advantage.<fn>And perhaps to yours.</fn>
From December 1, 2014, until December 2, 2015, you can count on:
No Moral Monday: A post with no moral. Stories, essays, opinions, questions. But no moral or epiphany.
My Favorite World: A Wednesday post about trivial things<fn>Music, art, literature, television, movies, dance, theatre, poetry. You know, the little things.</fn> that are as important as your life.
Wanton Words: Whatever I want. Whenever I want.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Your host at i2b is an Unreliable Narrator,<fn>It’s not that the Unreliable Narrator sets out to lie, but you must admit that a little tweak makes any recounting more enjoyable. It’s not a violation of truth, just a gentle(ish) reassembly that allows the pieces to rest more comfortably side by side. Maybe a dollop of “fabrication” here and there, but only insofar as the narrator appears more noble, inspiring, and intelligent. Except where fabrication denigrates the narrator to paint a false sense of humility / vulnerability / fragility that might entice the unwary reader to proffer greater sym-/em-pathy than might otherwise emerge. Thus does the unreliability become multivalent.</fn> as are we all.
He is also brutally honest.<fn> Yeah, this statement is pretty much what you call fraught with apparent contradiction.</fn>
Further, he hates resolved endings.<fn>The 5th grade teacher assigned a short story exercise. Your narrator wrote a tale about an astronaut exploring the moon and discovering a vicious moon monster. Most of the story was about the astro’s desperate attempt to retrieve a laser death ray gun that would dispatch the beast. After an adjective-heavy chase across the moonscape:
“He aimed carefully and fired the death ray gun at the monster. It did not work.
I thought this exceedingly clever – a story that did not resolve. What a fun trick! The teacher was very displeased and delivered a harsh verdict: C-minus. Friends who read it were annoyed because the ending did not put a bow on it. I explained that this way they could fill it in the way they wanted it to happen. Geebus, do a little work yourself, people! My arguments fell on deaf ears.</fn>
Consider yourself warned.<fn>Or encouraged, if you prefer.</fn>
EXCESSIVE CONSUMPTION OF FOOTNOTES MAY
INCREASE YOUR RISK OF DIGRESSIVE DISEASE,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE
PREGNANT OR HAVE A COMPROMISED IMMUNE SYSTEM.